OK, we can go over this again. No, no, that’s fine. I’m sure it will sink in the eighth time. Peanut butter. Peanut butter is what I want. Not almond butter, not cashew butter, but peanut butter. I’ve been very patient about all this. The first few times you had the groceries delivered, you just forgot. That’s fine. Then the cashew butter. Not really sure how to comment on that. Then somehow you procured an empty jar of peanut butter—let’s just admit that was odd and a bit of a dick move. But next time you order groceries, I know you’re going to get it.
Or I will pee all over your new rug.
(Michael S) Photo by Ash Goldsbrough on Unsplash